yawn

I'm soo bored..

Well, I guess that when you are used to the hectic schedule, you will feel kinda stuck as to what you are supposed to do next. It's not like I used to make plans for every single things in my life, but I was hoping that I did that. At least I'm not as bored as I am now.

In addition to that, I AM that lazy. It has been awhile since I was excited to hang out and meet friends. Some people said that I've been feeling like that because I was reacting to the female hormones, whatever that is.

But what they don't seem to understand is, I am not 21, or 23 anymore. I don't have the same energy or enthusiasm as I was. I am now circled around people who is a lot younger than me and that is probably the reason why some people said I did not act my age.

It's not my choice to be here. But then again, I did not say it because I was regretting my path or being ungrateful jerk. Maybe I did not see the light behind it just yet, but I can't help but wonder what would my life be if I was already a someone's wife, or a mother or someone with successful career path. Like most of my friends did. Or planned to.

But I am a true believer of qada' and qadar. I know I just have to pass through this transition in my life. I know I have to be patient, it's just going to be for a little while. But I hope other people would understand that while I may not act my age, but I am that ordinary 26 years old gurl. I don't think differently than them and I wish people would stop saying "I know, but it's fine" to me.