it's a long one, but it's soo worth it

I finally got my revenge. Yay! It involves a "you-know-who"

Well, actually, I already made some plans beforehand to make my proper revenge, including pretending to be sorry that I want him back and even post in on my blogs and at the end, I would confront him and go, "I know what you did", BOOM!!!

But in the end, maybe I was too tired to play games with someone who is not worthy, so I decided to send a letter instead of seeing him. He has wasted my time and energy before and I think it's not fair for me to waste another for him. Now, it may sound as if I was angry because I still have feelings for him, but actually it wasn't the case. For what it's worth, I would justify my action right here and right now.

Now, he is someone that I used to get involved with. I can't say that I'm truly happy with him since he did not exactly treat me any better. But nonetheless we were together once upon a time. But I noticed that he has man ego which I should take notice to that. To be fair, all guys have their own egos, even the girls, but for a guy with that certain ego, he would go to the certain extent of acting up for the purpose of satisfying his revenge. He is someone who would think he could done better than others, say, if he thinks that I can get any guy I want, he also can do the same.

Recently I learned to know the real fact that he was actually has several relationships with girls when he was or after with me. I will tell you later why is it important as to was and after me. Now, I don't mind if he has friend who is a girl, but the way he claimed to be so innocent that he has no girl friends and lied to me the whole time is truly something that I cannot tolerate at all. I just don't understand why he has to do that, to lie to me in front of my face as if I was nothing.

After we broke up, I did try to make amend and even at certain point thought of saving it because I was under impression that I was the one to blame for the break-up. But I was never at any point lie to him about my status that I used to get involved with someone else after him and I remembered that he thought that I left him because of someone and he was clearly upset at that.

Little that I know at that point he was the one who actually did that..

He was involved with his ex when he was with me and I learned from his dear friend of his that he even brought the girl to his house. And here I was, thinking that I was to be blamed because he did not make any attempts to go back to me.

I honestly was under good intention to maintain good relationship despite it was over. I didn't have any hidden agenda aside from having him as friend, like I practised with my previous boyfriend. How would I know that he was playing with me.

Once, after that incidents, he told me, out of the blue that he was missing me and was angry at me because I did not even want to contact him or say hi whenever we bumped into each other. He was angry because he thought I already moved on and he cannot accept that.

I didn't know what he was up to and I didn't understand why he was angry. And I was quite stupid to feel sorry for doing that when he would be finishing his study after this, that I won't see him again after this, and yet I did that to him.

But, my conscious kept telling me otherwise and I managed to sort it out by confronting to his friend. To my surprise, he told me everything that confirmed everything. From his ex to his gf that he has now. And yet he still said those things to me. I feel kinda sorry for myself for actually believing in him, but for what it's worth, I was lucky that I didn't love to him as much as I thought I was. Nonetheless, the pain is still there and I can relate to people who has been cheated.

Such revealation truly has been an eye opening for me. I used to say that if you lied, sooner or later it will haunt you. How true, to see me in this circumstances, after being cheated he thought he could get away, but he was wrong. I was lucky to learn it now about his true color rather than before. Because for one, I don't have to think about what he has done all these times because it was already over and I already moved on with my life. I was lucky also for believing in my conscious to never trust him and never to give all my heart to him. Nonetheless I can't help it from having the feeling of getting my revenge for wasting my time and lying to me.

Because to me, now he is like a loser to me; to have relationship with his ex who has cheated him over another guy, and yet to be with her and to go out with her behind his current girlfriend, with her fetching him at his house is truly an act of a loser to me.

Until now I can't seem to pass the fact that I was actually involved with someone as loser as him. I was also stupid to realise it later, but I to be fair, my act was justified because at least when I was with him, I was true to myself and I maintain my integrity by saying that I am not the one who has caused the damage to the relationship. At least I did not lie just to save my sorry ass.

I guess I'm no better person myself. Before this, I honestly didn't understand why I never feel sad when it's over. Not even once did I cry. Maybe it was a sign from the One who is greater than me that something is clearly wrong. And how right it was. But still, I'd like to get my hands dirty on this and I know not many people can understand why I display it publicly when it could be something humiliating to me. But, I don't know why I don't see it that way. Maybe I was happy with my situation now and to think that I was no longer in a relationship that I can't even trust him.

So, as you can imagine the content of the letter itself by now, it was truly a relief for being able to channel my true feelings to him and also to myself. And because getting my revenge is so much sweeter than you think, for those who wanted to know who is this loser guy, then you are welcome to ask me personally and I would gladly tell his name. I think many people know who that is, but to display his name here would only render bad implications so far as I'm concerned. I don't want to get associated with him in any level whatsoever, but he ought to know that he should never underestimate me. The power of woman, eh? hehehe :D