There has been rumour spreading at my faculty especially amongst our batch. Normally I would participate with those hearing it and I would disseminate that rumours together with others. But when the rumour involves me personally, well it’s not as fun as I think anymore.

It began when we started this course and they have been saying that I have “something going on” with one of my firm mate. “something going on” like hell. We used to tease and take it lightly at the rumours since we know each other; though not long but we know, well, what it takes to be best friend with each other. At least, that is my opinion on this, telling him the same thing would only make my life miserable for having to bear all his incessant teasing and mocking to regard me as his good friend.

I’d like to dispell all the rumours and put a stop to it, but I also know I can’t stop other’s people’s mouth from leaking. I wish to tell all those people that I don’t have anything “special” to do with him, other than having to suffer from him teasing and his boredom look in class, since I have my own affairs (though not many) and he already has a long-term girlfriend. I hate when people deliberately asked him in front of me, “hey, how’s your girlfriend? Are you guys still together or what?” and all those questions, as if they are trying to tell me that he already has a girlfriend. As if I didn’t know about that. So, what? Sometimes I think that they’d like to think of me as a stealer, but those who know me that well know that I am not that kind of person and because I am not easily interested in guys.

People may not know that I’m trying to build a new life and to have new perspectives in life especially when it comes to future. What I perceived before this may not be the same as before, and I am not getting involved in a relationship easily anymore and end up me being the miserable one and constantly feeling unworthy. It’s hard to deal sometimes with these frustrations alone, and to have others getting “noisy” in my personal life is not something I preferred. But sometimes I also forgot, I live with others, in a society, in fact everyday. So, for those who are trying to make a rumour out of me, believe that, yes, I may not be known to be attached to anyone right now, but I do not, in any way, have “special thing going on” with him. If it’s true… so God help me... I will grow old before time.